Addicted to Drama

Last week I talked about progress over perfection. I have a great example of this to share with you. Watch the video to learn more.

I shared with you how I was in alignment with getting my RV and my truck and selling my house. Then one of those bad thoughts popped into my head. I was driving to my next sign language assignment and thought, "I bet I put the wrong address into my GPS. I'm going to get there and it's going to be the wrong place. I'm going to be late for my assignment."

This is called Future Tripping, which is making up stuff that's not even happening.

For me, this stems from the fact that I grew up in a very tumultuous household. After my siblings and I went to bed, my parents started fighting, screaming, slamming doors and throwing things.

They did not abuse me physically or verbally. They loved me unconditionally. It could have been much worse. But the point is, every night I listened to them screaming and yelling. My normal was craziness. It's an adrenaline rush, but not a good one. I became addicted to that.

Now here I am on my spiritual journey, but I'm still addicted to the drama. I am having to reprogram my brain and my body to know that it's okay to be at peace.

I'm at peace about selling everything and going on this adventure. It's all falling into place. Then, within minutes, I go into that Future Tripping drama, because that's what I'm used to.

I emphasized last week to be patient with yourself. It can be difficult to get out of this space, but it can happen. You can become aware of it when it happens. Then, you can make the decision to go into gratitude or something else positive to get you into a better place and find that peace again.